Monthly Archives: October 2008


PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people
mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

i think its quite cool. ultimately, its still giving rise the possibilty of ppl finding out about youridentity, but at least the secret, more possibly, stays a secret. the only peace you can get is knowing tt everybody has secrets, and hopefully, someone has yours.

there’s so many quotes on the truth:
the truth hurts

truth is stranger than fiction

the truth will set you free

but there’s so many things tt can drive ppl to hide the truth, from others or themselves, to avoid shame and hurt. sometimes it may seem like your relationship, your life as it is, isn’t worth hanging out your dirty laundry, just to feel less guilty, but in the end, we can never be sure if we’ll make mistakes again. To tell the truth and feel good about it, you gotto make a commitment, to change, to improve. if not like most of life’s habits, its caught in a vicious cycle.

the moment of truth is a new show i began to watch.

 i though it was pretty lame at first, but its intresting tt now the incentive to tell the truth isn’t setting your soul free, or setting your life straight, its alot alot of money. top prize is $500 000!

but the show killed a few marriages and stuff, but hey, it prob means it wasnt a good one to start with anyway. i think it was this woman who got really bad publicity cos she admitted to having had cheated on her husband and other stuff.

  but man what a huge crowd of freaking hypocrites. A recent study uncovered tt (this includes all couples, homo, married, not married) 80% of men and 40% of women cheat.

just yesterday i was at geylang eating durian, and as far as the eye can see were old angmoh/singaporean men with young china women. and the streets were just strewn with hotels la. sleep so much for what!

pastor prince said this last last week.

” you shouldn’t tell ppl “thou shall not lie!”, “thou shall not steal!””,

because ultimately youre forgetting

“thou shall not judge!”

i think tts really impt. i still have problems with judging ppl too quickly, but my impression changes all the time, in fact every time i encounter a person. so i guess tts bad too, cos i forget who they were. yet tts good too, cos youre not supposed to hold ppl back due to your perceptions of them , esp ppl who are overly sensitive and easily influenced. what you think of ppl can project upon them eventually.

i dunno. i’m just a kid. shouldn’t think too much.


SMALL people♥

 saw my first niece on my maternal side on MONDAY (have13 nephews and nieces on my paternal side!)

she’s so damn cute, and she looks really smart. her eyes are really pretty and alert

and she’s a bit of a protester.


her arms are always raised. so damn adorable.

after so long, you can really forget ppl start off so small.
i dunno what is it about babies tt can evoke compassion in ppl, its prob their vulnerability, their inablity to harm or hurt, their innocence and dependance.Image Preview

what a god awful day(SUNDAY)

ever felt like one of those days where ABSOLUTELY NOTHING could go right?

sigh, i should have listened and gone to church.

BUT NO, i went to malaysia with my mum and sis by bus, my father was busy.

it all started at the immigration customs area where there was this terrible human jam. The area was enclosed so the oxygen levels were so disgustingly low i started to feel awfully queazy. i felt so terrible i  puked a concoction of part chocolate part peanut waffle and soya bean milk conviniently into my mr bean cup.

after regurgitating about enough vomit to fill 3/4 of the cup, i felt bout 30 secs of normalcy when i felt okay again. then my eyes got blurry, like tt greyish broken television vision( dunno if im the only one who gets tt ), until i could barely see. ppl started fanning me but too bad i couldn’t see their faces. throughout this i still had to keep standing where there was prob bout 300 ppl shoulder to shoulder around me,


by the 45 min mark of standing, my entire body felt so weak it was all i could do to just stand. everything was like a surreal motion picture feeling (except the sweat and heat) there was even this echo-effect to the sounds around me. I was secretly wishing i would faint asap cos ive never fainted before, i thought it’d be cool. and dramatic enough so somebody will be moved to do sth to upgrade the immigration to humane levels tt hasnt been done for the last 30 years.

ANYWAY, my sis called my mum who was standing at another queue. we weren’t very far apart, it just so god damn hard to move around in a crowd when ppl begin to gear all their senses to detect when ppl seem to be cutting your queue. anyway she came to my rescue and brought me to the front (apparently ppl scoot very quickly only when they see ppl half dead)

they allowed me and my mum to go across but my sis was denied the privellege. So well being who she is, she gave a bad look then the overly agitated ofice threatened to sue. ( like RELAC AH SIR) anyway things got resolved quickly though as minor things do when ppl compromise.

during this time when i finally got out of the place, it was like a whole different world. it was amazing. i felt better IMMEDIATELY. this expeience though, taught me tt im pretty weak after all.

so after tt managed to enjoy bout 3-4h of city square, most of it went to my facial which mutilated my face. then got a tiny but pissed at the slow service at secret recipe, we asked for the cake desert 4 TIMES, 3 of it from the same guy! BUT THEY JUST WON’T SERVE IT FOR SOME REASON. like halfway walking back to the kitchen some alien would pop out of the flower pot and zap them with their lazers and their heads would just empty and have no recollection of the order.Go to fullsize image

anyway it was bout 830 when we left city square, wanted to walk aorund first so as to not get caught in the jam back. we walked to this nearby very idian ppl concentrated place, like little india in singapore, quite interesting. the colours and sights were rather identical.

then there was this small shopping cente where most of the shops had closed for the night. me and my sis went to watsons. when we were done and were at the counter. i notice this man who seemed to be talking to me cos he was looking at me but i ignored it cos i din think he would have any reason to converse with me.

then the son of a bitch spat at me and started saying i was a slut. so i got really angry and said

(mind you this is only the GIST)


“LOOK AT HOW YOURE DRESSSED ( i was wearing shorts cos my mum said if dress too good ppl will think youre rich and rob you), YOU LOOK LIKE A WHORE”

” WHO ON EARTH ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO WEAR YOU FREAKING LOSER!( sigh sometimes i wish i knew more hokkien i sounded so proper) ”


by this time, my sis and i were firing so many insults at him then we kinda were winning, so we began to walk away. but then the son of a bitch strarted to spit again. ( at a pretty out of reach distrance so he was really loser) so i was like



“SINCE WHEN GOD DUN LIKE SINGPAOREANS LA YOU LOSER!( okay i shouldn’t have said tt, sarcasm only works when short) YOU FREAKING BURN IN HELL LA!”

he still kept talking idiot talk so we just left the place. i felt quite good during the firing but after tt when walking back to customs, i felt terrible.

ultimately, ive never been so humiliated. while i was walking i could still feel the BASTARD’S saliva on my leg (god i wished i had tt cup of vomit with me at tt time. my sis managed to spit quite alot on his face though. and i really wished my father was there to whack some sense into him). i felt really tired out and just wanted to go home to singapore. the dust the noise the hostility, i just couldnt bear much more.

customs was bad again. hot, shoulder to shoulder. my mum got into a slight tiff with this man who was like ” ey zhe ge lane shi wo men de leh!”

my mum calmy said “ey wo men ye shi zai pai dui mah.”

i din hear much after tt but my mum let the baby go first, something i would never do.

at the bus back to malaysia ppl were squeezing into the bus queues and these 2 men quarelled.

” wah lan eh!………..

………..” …”  the rest in hokkien so i cant rmb, but it was pretty heated up one of the guy already had his punching fist out.

similar thingy happened to me and some 50 year old loser on the bus from imm with valerie last week. shan’t mention though. valerie pls dun tell too many ppl.

argh. anyway terrible terrible day,slightly salvaged when my father brought us home from kranji mrt in the most soothing car ride ever.

SIGH. i hope ppl will stop this kind of crap.  it doesn’t help.

it doesn’t take much to stop. it just takes some freaking maturity

sirloin steak man!


love the holidays man.

completed quite a fair bit of homework, but still FAARRRRR from completion.

I cant believe they’re making us do a summary on every bio chapter. PHYSICS students pls thank your respective gods.

anyway cooking class today was fruitful.

learnt how to cook:

1.sirloin steak with herb butter sauce

now this is steak

now this is steak

FYI, this is a psuedo grilled steak, the grilled streaks are actually branded by a hot skewer.

2. vichy potatoes

it actually utilizes the same kitchen tool as the one for putting cream on cakes. isn’t the potato so damn cute?


3. stuffed tomatoes

looks cute but taste is bleagh

looks cute but taste is bleagh

 its basically mixed vegetables in hallowed tomatoes. not nice.

anyway BONG volunteered for stuff again

then got creative

with garlic, how talented

with garlic, how talented

here’s a picture of the cute potatoes being baked

reminds me of the calbee commercial

anyway, good 2 days, good good. may have guitar lesson tmrw.

man, never appreciated the holidays more.♥

matthew 5:3-10♥


Prayers of Celebration
Blessed are the poor in spirit:
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they that mourn:
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek:
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness:
for they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful:
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart:
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers:
for they shall be called the children of God.

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake:
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

matthew 5:3-10

a tribute to a great woman

It has been a year since my grandmother’s passing

it still feels so surreal tt if this morning you told me yesterday she passed on, i might have believed it

i dint dream of her for a year, and i never had, except for one i had a few days before her death. I dreamt she died in the hospital (she was staying at home at tt time), there were very few ppl in the hospital and  the silence was deafening but resounding throughout the hospital

and whadyouknow, she passed away in a hospital at night after her body lost the battle of major system failure, and in just one day. It was a sunday night and the hospital was understaffed. the wait for the ppl to come and collect her in this big tray like thingy with metal casing felt like the longest half and hour of my life. the urge to just jerk my body forward and cry like a child met with such resistance and strength i never knew i had. it was then i realised i had grown a little.

it was i believe about 3am when her body was carried away  by these 2 men into a van which drove away to prepare her for embalming.

the following days tt ppl came to her funeral, of which i would say 90% of them were unfamiliar to me, came down to pay their last respects to her coffin of which her dead body, with pasty makeup, her favourite clothes tt she wore in a genting trip, a hole in her neck caused by the embalming covered up nicely, with her snowy white hair rested in peace. Her spirit, i believe, was near, with eyes tt could see through what was in ppl’s hearts; grief, regret, guilt and sorrow.

she had a heart made of solid gold, platinum and all the other precious elements, pure and lovely. she was the kind of woman tt would thank the cleaner at the local kopitiam with such sincerity you could see the most unsmiling faces begin to beam with warmth. How her grace could be so unfailing i could never imagine, considering the life of hell she had before.

she was a child bride, sold to another family for money. BEing  a child bride meant tt the new family’s ppl were now her lords and masters.  They could marry her to one of their sons, or work her to the bone, or both.

her childhood was the latter. She had a horrible grandmother tt tortured her to work in the field with the manure and dirt. She woke up the earliest and went to bed the latest. She ate alone after everyone had eaten and did the washing, the sweeping and carrying of logs on her frail back. ppl laughed as manure was dumped on her.

even the day after she gave birth she was put to work again.

these stories were only shared at the funeral, even my mother had never known of them.

my mother’s only inkling of my grandmother’s past was in the last few DAYS of her life when she started having nightmares of her grandmother.

I can’t even begin to imagine the tears that she bore, her pride stripped away, without hope of comfort. yet she spent most of her life just going on and on and on, having been forced to give up everything she had,without complain, smirk or whine. it really makes me wonder how ungrateful so many of us are when we drone on about our family, school, work, time, when we could be living so much better lives by just realizing we’re already unbelievably blessed.

i think we all have so much to learn

to my grandmother, mdm poh tee, an amazing woman

with the utmost respect and admiration, her granddaughter.


today i, on the spur of the moment, decided to take this cooking course thaat my mother had introduced to me only the night before

so, though it was rather uncalled for, this had became my one big rock for the holidays.Image Preview

my teacher’s a little old, he mentioned tt he was part of some hiton hotel restaurant apprentice in 1969. so he could have been like at least 20, 40 years ago. he doesn’t look 60 though

mr richard aw
mr richard aw

notice black hair. my father, on the other hand, has had greyish white hair since i could remember

my class consisted of 8 ppl, 2 philipino maids, 1 really cute prob sec 1 boy tt wouldnt stop squinting, 2 clowns ( me and giselle),and the rest were aunties, one 40 year old ah lian.Amittedly, there were 2 outstanding super annoying aunties, one of which was unofficially crowned the grand trophy in recognition of their excellent display of the arts for annoying the crap of ppl.
i'm referring to the middle one
im referring to the middle one

i’ve honestly never heard a more whiny, far over the extreme borders of inquisitiveness inquisitive, 50 year old woman. this picture you see here is a rare moment in which you can observe the phenomenon of the touching of the lips which result in a closed mouth, its truely fascinating. it can also be observed her annoying feat of taking snapshots of every ingredient and kitchen equipment whch her flashy camera phone.

my god, she’s SO UNBEARABLE i could snap her head.
anyway, giselle kept volunteering for stuff so here you see her spreading butter on the bread pieces
and stirring the soup
frenc onion soup
french onion soup

which was really funny.

stupid BONG.
anyway, really cool to go for this course, esp with bong.
so yeh, achieved sth!
woohoo!Image Preview
hope i’ll achieve even more this holidays