Monthly Archives: November 2012

being friendzoned

I have tried my best to not use this word cos the animation of a giant novelty stamp being stamped on some poor guys forehoead keeps appearing in front of me. hahaha poor guy.

but honestly, i hear this word all the time. at first, i didn’t wanna think about it. i didn’t like putting a name on something that was.. so real. My dip plus in psych programme is over now. and what i remember most from it were the times i was reading the text and thought to myself holy crap why is this in words? what wizardry is this! my inner most thoughts that i thought were oh so private and unique were actually so common and predictable.

and this friendzone thing is one of those things i don’t like being all spelt out and exposed in literary form. (even typing the word irks me but i must carry on) Placing a title on someone to limit what they mean to you. it is so common. but in order for someone to be friendzoned, there has to be someone accepting being in one. little sister zone, gay best buddy zone, older brother zone so many zones. even slutzoned. theres the zoner and the zonee. i think thats how bad boys get away with doing douchey things. they expect to get women by sometimes explicitly telling them that they are theirs to have. they have the confidence of doing douchey things and they expect girls to accept their terms. but i think douchery has to be honed. its learnt behaviour. the more women in their life accept their douchery, the more confident they become that their douchery will be accepted. and douchery’s great! you get to limit girls from meaning anything important to you and they’ll still try their hardest to get you to change your mind. aka slutzoned. (or as himym would say: to be on someone’s hook)  alright maybe thats too harsh. they’re actually nice ppl  who placed their love in the wrong guy. they share the same fate as friendzoned guys. just that on top of heartbreak there’s a whole host of other consequences.

but lets head out of the slutzone and enter the friendzone territory again.

some say youre not supposed to be too nice so that girls wont take you for granted and never actually date you aka get friendzoned. but it think thats misguided talk. i think you can be as nice as you want (which shouldnt be a problem assuming a guy really likes a girl) but also be SUPER CLEAR you want her (potentially a huge problem even if a guy really likes a girl). yes most times its like duh of course he likes you does it even need to be said?

yea kinda. really the longer it is even remotely unclear, the longer she can accept/dismiss your niceness for now and the longer she can continue to not have to deal with what she thinks might be your feelings for her. she has to convince herself you don’t like her/ like her enough because she doesnt wanna spend time questioning it all. well yea, its possible she doesnt want to spend time thinking about you because she doesn’t like you anyway. but she might like you a little? and it could have grown into really really like if she wasn’t gradually nudged (by the amiguity) towards friendzoning you. (GIANT NOVELTY STAMP ACROSS YOUR FACE: FRIENDZONED!)

its like wanting to be in this country but this country will only grant you a long term visa/ PR status and not citizenship. do you accept these terms? if you would rather be in this country and accept the visa than have to pack up and leave, then stay. continue to devote your life as a hardworking member of society in this zone. its better than being out in the cold outside of the borders. if not, do some kind of protest, maybe try to get other countries to intervene, make some efffort to prove yourself more than worthy. how much you care bout gaining citizenship in this country will determine how long you’ll keep at it and how hard you’ll fight for it, till you get what you deserve. youre devoted to this country and this country damn well better grant you citizenship and all the benefits attached to it!

POSTSECRET

ive blogged twice in a matter of days! i must be escaping from work alot again. heheh. screw you clinical chem and immunohematology datasheets, biochem tutorials and basic pathology BRCA research,  i have important matters to blog about! [THINGS I’LL DO TMRW ZONE!]


my faith in avene’s facial cleanser

A long time ago. i was a daily user of avene’s facial cleanser. that is not to say that my faith in it did not fluctuate. hell, it went up and down every few days. when the ups lasted for a week or more, it felt awesome. like omg i finally have in my possession the only cleanser i will use for the rest of my life. this is.. this is what love must feel like man. but the downs. damn. they made me.. tired. i still had to continue using it because, well, it was the only one available, i kinda had a routine going on then and it had worked before, albeit for a brief moment in time. maybe its me. maybe its the weather. and when i try maybe some other cleanser like st ive’s facial scrub and my skin gets worse then i’ll be so upset i tried something else and failed. then i begin to pledge allegiance to avene’s facial cleanser again. even if things didn’t get better after i went back to using avene’s, i stayed put. like it was punishment for straying. and i had to gain loyalty points before my skin could get better again.

alas, i realised my folly.

why am i patronizing a facial cleanser.

i have plenty of other facial cleansers to choose from. hell, some ppl dont even use facial cleansers and rub their faces on the ground and still turn out fine. i may sometimes feel their need to deem other people’s dependance on facial cleansers as a sign of weakness unnecessary but i still understand where they come from.

cos ive seen people use avene’s facial cleanser for a really really long time and their skin is great. they’re happy. and i’m happy for them that they’re happy. i truely am. i wish i could be as happy as them. maybe i didn’t trust in it enough. maybe i should have freaking used it hourly not daily. maybe im supposed to use it with their night gel, day cream, toner, or what have you. i mean, thats what they say right? best results when used together with blablabla. you didnt do those other things so you didn’t get the full package. thats why it all fell apart. c’mon try again. this time, try harder.

but just the thought of going through all that again makes me frown. who’s to say im a different person now and its gonna work out differently. it feels like everytime i try it and then stop using it, i’m told another reason why. but i don’t think ive changed all those times. its kinda convenient to keep telling me i have, don’t you think.

in fact, the people who tell me those things don’t always have great skin themselves. sometimes it even feels like the people who have the worst skins have the most information and trust about a certain type of facial cleanser. and im thinking to myself, hey why not fix your diet a little. drink more water, reduce your stress level or sth. but alright, im glad you can have faith in the one thing thats not helping your problems. and at the same time, be able to look past them just so that what you believe in makes sense to you. i mean, to each his own man. whatever makes you happy.

alright im rambling here. but lemme end off this story.  remember i said i  was a daily user a long time ago? now im using erm im not sure bout the brand actually. its this bluish white milky kind of liquid. i was pretty happy with it at first cos it was pretty mild. i thought, hey this suits me. my skin got better for a bit. then recently its downhill again. all hail, the ups and downs of using a facial cleanser. i can’t believe im going through this again.

i think i’m a fool sometimes. i mean. i actually believe that there is a facial cleanser out there that suits all skin types. i really do. i mean. i don’t really buy into the idea that people of different skin types should use different types of cleansers, that are catered specifically to their skin type. yes to some extent its true, but there HAS to be some magic formula that improves your skin quality, irregardless of your colour, pigmentation, genetic disposition and all that. i mean we’re all humans, we all have the same kinda skin. the same dermatologic constituents that make up the same epidermal layer, no? is it crazy to want to believe that there is only one true facial cleanser. lots of brands claim to be that. ive tried many brands. and, its never the case. to me, its gotto be downright absolute. i dun wanna hear that different skin types respond differently to the cleanser. thats too easy. you think you can override your flaws and loopholes just by saying that? you want me to trust in it through receiving gratification vicariously off other people’s testimonies? i can’t! it should work naturally for me. i could do it, i could get by. but i’ll be wasting my time, energy, and lets be honest, money on this faith. for this cleanser. that actually, is the same 10 ingredients every other facial cleanser in the market has.

sigh. maybe i’ve been too caught up in this facial cleanser business. perhaps i should place my faith in other things. try pills instead. or masks. or eating more fruits. omg fruit masks! thats an idea! aiya try all la try all la.