being friendzoned

I have tried my best to not use this word cos the animation of a giant novelty stamp being stamped on some poor guys forehoead keeps appearing in front of me. hahaha poor guy.

but honestly, i hear this word all the time. at first, i didn’t wanna think about it. i didn’t like putting a name on something that was.. so real. My dip plus in psych programme is over now. and what i remember most from it were the times i was reading the text and thought to myself holy crap why is this in words? what wizardry is this! my inner most thoughts that i thought were oh so private and unique were actually so common and predictable.

and this friendzone thing is one of those things i don’t like being all spelt out and exposed in literary form. (even typing the word irks me but i must carry on) Placing a title on someone to limit what they mean to you. it is so common. but in order for someone to be friendzoned, there has to be someone accepting being in one. little sister zone, gay best buddy zone, older brother zone so many zones. even slutzoned. theres the zoner and the zonee. i think thats how bad boys get away with doing douchey things. they expect to get women by sometimes explicitly telling them that they are theirs to have. they have the confidence of doing douchey things and they expect girls to accept their terms. but i think douchery has to be honed. its learnt behaviour. the more women in their life accept their douchery, the more confident they become that their douchery will be accepted. and douchery’s great! you get to limit girls from meaning anything important to you and they’ll still try their hardest to get you to change your mind. aka slutzoned. (or as himym would say: to be on someone’s hook)  alright maybe thats too harsh. they’re actually nice ppl  who placed their love in the wrong guy. they share the same fate as friendzoned guys. just that on top of heartbreak there’s a whole host of other consequences.

but lets head out of the slutzone and enter the friendzone territory again.

some say youre not supposed to be too nice so that girls wont take you for granted and never actually date you aka get friendzoned. but it think thats misguided talk. i think you can be as nice as you want (which shouldnt be a problem assuming a guy really likes a girl) but also be SUPER CLEAR you want her (potentially a huge problem even if a guy really likes a girl). yes most times its like duh of course he likes you does it even need to be said?

yea kinda. really the longer it is even remotely unclear, the longer she can accept/dismiss your niceness for now and the longer she can continue to not have to deal with what she thinks might be your feelings for her. she has to convince herself you don’t like her/ like her enough because she doesnt wanna spend time questioning it all. well yea, its possible she doesnt want to spend time thinking about you because she doesn’t like you anyway. but she might like you a little? and it could have grown into really really like if she wasn’t gradually nudged (by the amiguity) towards friendzoning you. (GIANT NOVELTY STAMP ACROSS YOUR FACE: FRIENDZONED!)

its like wanting to be in this country but this country will only grant you a long term visa/ PR status and not citizenship. do you accept these terms? if you would rather be in this country and accept the visa than have to pack up and leave, then stay. continue to devote your life as a hardworking member of society in this zone. its better than being out in the cold outside of the borders. if not, do some kind of protest, maybe try to get other countries to intervene, make some efffort to prove yourself more than worthy. how much you care bout gaining citizenship in this country will determine how long you’ll keep at it and how hard you’ll fight for it, till you get what you deserve. youre devoted to this country and this country damn well better grant you citizenship and all the benefits attached to it!

POSTSECRET

ive blogged twice in a matter of days! i must be escaping from work alot again. heheh. screw you clinical chem and immunohematology datasheets, biochem tutorials and basic pathology BRCA research,  i have important matters to blog about! [THINGS I’LL DO TMRW ZONE!]

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