Monthly Archives: May 2013

caught in a bad romance

Two weeks back I was in Cambodia visiting my mum and visited an orphanage. It was set up by Catholic missionaries.

The children are about one to five years of age. Some actually aren’t orphans. Its just that their parents are unable to care for them and visit them here from time to time  instead.

The caretakers carry a child in one hand and swing about an electrical mosquito zapper with the other. Its 35 degrees Celsius and the whirring fans are at full speed. “Jesus loves me this I know, ow ow owowowowowowo.” (caught in a bad romance) The CD player’s a tad cranky from the heat.

There are two boards placed up high on the main wall. One has pictures of all the kids. The other has pictures of successful adoption cases.

I would say I like animals. I can’t love them.

I would say I love children. I can’t raise them. Ones that aren’t mine at least.

I am amazed by people who have the capacity to raise and love a child that isn’t theirs.

I could play with the children. Discipline them a little here and there. Feed them.  And then I leave. I understand that that’s all I will ever give. A couple of hours that they may feel cared for. It’s really quite unmeaningful. (I know unmeaningful is not a word.)  It’s even a tad selfish. I’m really fooling myself into thinking its for them.

I most recently watched Game of Thrones Season 3 and was reminded of how Lady Stark struggled to love her husband’s illegitimate son, Jon Snow. Some kid he had with some woman he brought back from some war. I struggled with it too. HE IS DOWNRIGHT ADORABLE. But I guess if she didn’t mistreat him, he would never have developed some lovely weepy eyes. He would never have been honed to make everyone have a soft spot for his delicate whimpering spirit.

But back to loving and raising someone who isn’t biologically yours. If the kid’s your husband’s then well he’s just a reminder of the woman he fertilized. Every cell of his body has a part you hate and a part you don’t want to hate.  I love Lady Stark btw. I think if someone as motherly and graceful as her couldn’t love Jon Snow then I can’t say I expect anyone too. This is ridiculous. She’s fictional.


If on the other hand, the kid is being adopted, he’s a.. fresh page? Not quite, no? particularly with angmo-asian combos, the kid grows up in full knowledge his biological parents could not or would not raise him. If he had ‘proper reasons’ like they were in a car accident or sent to the moon on a secret mission, then alright he was wanted. Just unlucky. But if its obvious he was an unwanted child, then I think alot of love and understanding would be needed to make sure he grows up feeling he was never an orphan.

I guess what I’m trying to say is

maybe I’m not against abortions.

Lives are sacred. The more we should make sure they’re lived well.