having a christian parent

having a parent who has a different spiritual orientation (or any at all) from you can be tough.

you have issues with confluence. you see things differently and you can’t share joy or sadness in the same way. that also means there is a gulf in your relationship not because you don’t love one another, but you aren’t able to justify the successes and tragedies of life in the same way. it can get fairly unnerving when all your christian parent (or friend/ sibling etc) wants is to show their care for you by praying for you, and all you feel is discomfort. Or when they thank God for the littlest things, and all you think is she a lil cray cray.

on the other hand, they have issues with disappointment. they love you deeply and your aversion to receiving God is a continual reminder that you may not be with them in the afterlife. after all, why would they bug you and pray for you so fervently if they did not care about you? they thank the Almighty everyday because they can’t believe their good fortune. you being healthy, alive and free from suffering aren’t naturally occurring things, they are mercifully afforded by the grace of God. It is with great bereavement that they witness your lack of gratitude for the way God has protected you through trying times. Moreover, it is lonely. It is a struggle, perhaps more for them than for you, because at least you, being not of faith, are less dependant on the totalizing conception of why and how we should live our lives, and what it means for those who do not.

For most of us, there are intrinsic virtues of having religous faith that we can’t deny. We don’t necessarily believe there is any right way of living one’s life. and honestly, there are times when you’re trying to draw strength from these resorvoirs of faith, but these banks are contingent on things like material wealth, experiential sucessess and social capital. how could those match up a self assuredness resting on the perfect love of God’s love for His children? there’s a reason why religous people can be the happiest, most violent, most passionate, most sacrificial of the human populace.

being non-religous is almost being a different human being. you subscribe to completely different belief systems. you make sense of the world by actualizing your unique rational or spiritual capacity, both of which are equally human but can sometimes be conflicting abilities. when either capacity dominates, it can be both dangerous and wonderful. when two people who love each other are mentally dominated by different belief systems, they can only hope that there is some overlap on which they can connect on. If you can’t  understand what makes them strong, you will feel utterly useless during their desolate hour of need.

scared

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