Category Archives: holidays

caught in a bad romance

Two weeks back I was in Cambodia visiting my mum and visited an orphanage. It was set up by Catholic missionaries.

The children are about one to five years of age. Some actually aren’t orphans. Its just that their parents are unable to care for them and visit them here from time to time  instead.

The caretakers carry a child in one hand and swing about an electrical mosquito zapper with the other. Its 35 degrees Celsius and the whirring fans are at full speed. “Jesus loves me this I know, ow ow owowowowowowo.” (caught in a bad romance) The CD player’s a tad cranky from the heat.

There are two boards placed up high on the main wall. One has pictures of all the kids. The other has pictures of successful adoption cases.

I would say I like animals. I can’t love them.

I would say I love children. I can’t raise them. Ones that aren’t mine at least.

I am amazed by people who have the capacity to raise and love a child that isn’t theirs.

I could play with the children. Discipline them a little here and there. Feed them.  And then I leave. I understand that that’s all I will ever give. A couple of hours that they may feel cared for. It’s really quite unmeaningful. (I know unmeaningful is not a word.)  It’s even a tad selfish. I’m really fooling myself into thinking its for them.

I most recently watched Game of Thrones Season 3 and was reminded of how Lady Stark struggled to love her husband’s illegitimate son, Jon Snow. Some kid he had with some woman he brought back from some war. I struggled with it too. HE IS DOWNRIGHT ADORABLE. But I guess if she didn’t mistreat him, he would never have developed some lovely weepy eyes. He would never have been honed to make everyone have a soft spot for his delicate whimpering spirit.

But back to loving and raising someone who isn’t biologically yours. If the kid’s your husband’s then well he’s just a reminder of the woman he fertilized. Every cell of his body has a part you hate and a part you don’t want to hate.  I love Lady Stark btw. I think if someone as motherly and graceful as her couldn’t love Jon Snow then I can’t say I expect anyone too. This is ridiculous. She’s fictional.


If on the other hand, the kid is being adopted, he’s a.. fresh page? Not quite, no? particularly with angmo-asian combos, the kid grows up in full knowledge his biological parents could not or would not raise him. If he had ‘proper reasons’ like they were in a car accident or sent to the moon on a secret mission, then alright he was wanted. Just unlucky. But if its obvious he was an unwanted child, then I think alot of love and understanding would be needed to make sure he grows up feeling he was never an orphan.

I guess what I’m trying to say is

maybe I’m not against abortions.

Lives are sacred. The more we should make sure they’re lived well.


back off susan boyle!


“whatchu looking at, you son of a bitch?”

i apologise on his behalf for the offensive language. it seems like Ted’s been quite an influence. awesome movie btw!


my 5th semester’s results are out, which means i can officially start applying for unis. seriously, frick! frick on a stick!

i’ve said this many times before but i really wish i could see my life 10 years from now. i don’t think i would regret it.

would i be typing out my monthly income/expenditure excel sheet of my cake bakery on my laptop in my cafe while i savour a slice of my cafe’s newest specialty seasame white chocolate cake?

would i be working in a hospital everyday from 8-6pm, sometimes later cos well, its a hospital, and then trudge home to take a well deserved bath? who and what would i return home to.

would i be a recovering drug addict who just decided to turn her back on prostitution? would i be a spy working the undergrounds of the baltics. so many questions. so many possiblities.

this is a goddam meaningless post where i bemoan about feeling unsure bout my life. what a self indulgent bitch.

what happened to the days i used to blog about things i did like a normal blogger, detailing day by day activities like they were oh so interesting.

alright then. here goes. i feel like a baby bird about to plop softly onto the ground following which a forgettable weak cry will go unheard.


“I CAN??!” yup i just registered for driving lessons couple of weeks back. nerve-wrecking stuff.


many months ago i got a nose piercing, and removed it. lol


my attachment’s finally over! it was kinda bittersweet. i enjoyed it but i think i’m never going back. i think i enjoyed celebrating the end of it even more haha.

oh which reminds me i got a haircut! had been having long hair for years. when i was younger i used to cry when my mum made me get my haircut. but now i realise holycrap short hair’s so bloody convenient. its such a worthy investment. you spend less time conditioning and drying your hair every time you bathe. i am saving 20×2 mins per day gosh i’m a genius.

And my family has finally embarked on a kitchen renovation! exciting stuff. knocking’s going on right now as i typitty-type on my keyboard. i can’t wait for it to be all done up and have like a housewarming thing 😀

as for now i’ve a few more weeks of holiday. thinking of going to ubin, cambodia, batam, legoland in the next few weeks. wooohooo.



camobodia the sequel

i spent the last quarter of my hols in cambodia with my family. can’t really rmb the last time just the four of us went for a holiday trip together. actually i think that has never happened. hmm

lots of good food. lots of dust. lots of tuk tuk rides. lots of nonsense.

tuk-tuks are these carriages attached to a motorbike. probably goes about the speed of a bicycle. travelling on gravelled paths and they sound like tu-ku-tu-ku-tu-ku-tu-ku. puts you in a minimal-brain-activity utility mode.

during our stay there we took a studio family shot. khmer style!

it was exhausting though. 4 hours of make up and dressing!

we hardly ate khmer-thai food cos it sucked. okay it didnt suck but i found a cockraoch in my food and that was the end of khmer food for us.

besides, the gourmet-ish, bistro style food was really affordable.max $5-6.

i’m just showing the fun luxurious side of cambodia. but really, it seems to be stricken with a poverty cycle that they may never be able to get out of.

the best way to have a holiday there is to look out and appreciate wherever you feel beauty lies.

 and for the things that aren’t beautiful, take it with a pinch of salt. understand their pain but at the same time, realize that helping them may not be helping them. sometimes, in the grand scheme of things, there’s little one can do if the source of the problem isn’t well, assasinated.

we can try to empathise but we never will. all we understand about them is by making comparisons to ourselves.


tanjong pinang@bintan in june

my family went to tanjong pinang about 3 weeks back.

just a short break since my mum was home and all and i’d never been to bintan.  but we didn’t go to the nice northern one, we went to the cheapo crappy southern one.

its a really desserted area outside of town, empty restarurants and a few resorts  strewned across a straight endless path.

but still, the beauty of the waters was amazing. i guess that’s what you earn in exchange of inconvenience and lack of facilities, transport and people.

pretty coral! its so coral.

i’m as lazy as a declawed, pregnant cat on a porch swing idly swatting at a fly on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

so i’m just gonna blog an onslaught of pretty pics, make occasional spongebob references.

krabby took forever to convince to stay still for me to take a pic. (ah, that was bad i’m sorreh)

anyway i dont think i would go back again. other than the pretty waters, all i remember from the trip was being overcharged and lied to time and time again by people trying to con us, long bumpy rides in a stuffy car that smlled and had only muslim music and being seasick all the way from the port.

i think after the trip im kinda tired of going to places like these. yea its wonderful going to these poorer countries see the people, the nature and stuff. but we always get some bastard trying to extort money from us at every possible angle.

happened at vietnam, happened in cambodia.

blatant overestimating, false promises and unnecessary and indiscriminate charging. its fucking ridiculous, and it ruins a good time with the family.

yes i understand they need to make a living and the circumstances have made it such that this is the best way to provide for themselves. and as far as moral ethics go, how righteous do you wanna make effort to be in a lawless land when you can’t pay the bills.

WHICH REMINDS ME of the book i just bought at The French Bookshop couple of weeks ago:

and what i read on page 122:

In addition to scrutiny and selection bias, there’s one more factor to consider. Human behaviour is influenced by a dazzling complex set of incentives, social norms, framing references, and the lessons gleaned from past experience- in a word, context. We act as we do because, given the choices and incentives at play in a particular circumstance, it seems most productive to act that way. This is also known as rational behavious, which is what economics is all about.


hope that made you feel smart. 🙂

persuant to the pre-U seminar booklet

harlo everybuddy

i was away for pre-u seminar 2011 at prince george’s park residence, NUS hostel from monday to friday and this was my room. it was kinda funny cos it took me 2 days to realise i’d been stripping all along in my room with the curtains open and the boys’ hostel outside my window.


anyway it was pretty boring, but i wont say anything specific (it was the jc kids!) bout why it was boring.

the highlights were…

some nice JC ppl in my SG, my SLO dory!

playing bridge with the guys in the pantry

and the making of the 1 minute vodcast on reimagining singapore which i directed. which was mostly dreary cos my team was damn xian but i’m still proud of the result

meeting boojunfeng, singapore’s cutest film maker.

argh i should just crop myself out man honestly.

my awesome as hell SP team 🙂 every moment with them was pure chilled awesome goodness.

and i wont forget one of the most epic moments

yam ah mee, ladies and gents, chairing the distinguished panel at pre-u seminar.

and the letters i got. they’re too nice man, honestly.

in other news,

i got a new bellystud at bugis street, ignore dust $22. screws from the bottom which is way better cos big balls are easier to find than siao qiu qiu.

and woohoo new makeup Za foundation and skinfood rose essence blusher 🙂 it really smells like roses.

flea buys@ whattheflea! after failed blood donation drive at orchard central.

bestbuy topshop skirt for $3 😀 total spent: $20

grilled honey cod fish with parseley carrots

and some odd doomsday pic i took weeks back


hehe, if only.



before hell opens its gates

holidays have been pretty nice and school’s reopening in 2 days. contrary to the negative connotion in the title,i really dun mind gg back to school. considering ive been going on an off througout the hols anyway. for preUsem and FOP bonding (juicyjeff lol) and this training programme for the new freshies where i helped with the bio prep

 i havent blogged bout plenty of things, somehow i havent made time to.

the past week i met up with old friends. hah im referring to swiss ppl as old friends now isn’t that funny. got a pretty manicure at far east and shopped with val around town and went for a scape flea with chloe and bought a fleshimp bag for $3! the 4 of us, me val khalie and brig also met up for DRAMA. not forgetting frolick with the MA.

another  awesome thing was genting with polykakis 2 weeks back. the picture is the view from the cable car. it was really fun and a great break. i slept 2+4+5 hours of the 3 nights, sleptover at bobby’s the first night, but i wasn’t tired. and the temperature was just lovely. it was 15degreescelsius in the late afternoon! our 2nd day there we spent 9 hours at the themepark. holy. the themepark was awesome except for the gokart incident. sigh i crashed a gokart. i shouldnt be allowed on the road. i popped my shoulder and couldnt look right for days. but other than that, we took like everypossible freaking ride together. except for the lame stuff like teacup rides. i think i got accustomed to rollercoasters though. blew my screambox. no kick alr.

went for a 3 hour spa at only rm48. it was so bloody relaxing. i felt like i could levitate into the genting clouds, maybe it was cos i lost 3kg of water.

another thing was the haunted mansion. holy mother. but i’m glad i went through it and left with no nightmares.

damn i’ll miss my class.

also missed blogging about the fact i got to  observe an open heart surgery a month back, which was crazy cool. it took 9 hours and there was so much blood dripping on the floor down the surgical gowns of the surgeons. god i sound sadistic.

yesterday i sent an email to my mum who’s working in cambodia and my sis in australia for the life of me i’ll never be confident of spelling australia correctly. anyway, i was gonna start school soon and i may not skype with them often.

“helloe overseas mummy and bs,
im starting school soon. at first i was quite apprehensive about it but now im quite excited to get busy with school stuff. plus it’ll be totally different cos i’ll be juggling way more commitments. ontop of my school curiculum, i’ll be taking a general elective module(GEMs) on digital photography. i took brand design last sem, it has no impact on my GPA but its compulsory to choose one.
also, i’m taking a dip-plus programme on applied psychology, it’ll be 3 hours a week every monday 6-9pm. and i will graduate with an extra cert along with my diploma.
in addition, there’s the preusem thing. im kinda leading the sp team now so i’ll also be quite busy with it. thankfully i’ve a nice cooperative team so should be fine.
AND SOMEMORE, i plan to join the cca ambassodorial relations corp. already told you both i know.
but i’ll still try to email more. i know i hardly do i’m sorry.”

i miss you so much sometimes and i can’t wait for you to be home.

unemployment’s working for me

what have i been up to? not having a job. heheh.

peanutcrumble with peaches and blueberry yoghurt

strawberries with milk and white choc

blueberry cupcakes



strawberry cheesecake.

bought a $98 ezra fitch skirt at a TAB flea@orchard hotel for $10. it is so pretty but i’m too big for it. i’ll prob sell it or continue looking at its prettyness.


bought this top/dress for $6.50. pretty as hell.

and these lovely earings for 50c.

 if i could live in any other place in Singapore i would love to live in bukit timah/holland V.

the salvation army, railmall’s organic stores, spas and massive cold storage are just awesome. and holland V has that urban feel, yet in the heartlands.



oh how sad.