Category Archives: postsecret

back off susan boyle!

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“whatchu looking at, you son of a bitch?”

i apologise on his behalf for the offensive language. it seems like Ted’s been quite an influence. awesome movie btw!

ludicrous!

my 5th semester’s results are out, which means i can officially start applying for unis. seriously, frick! frick on a stick!

i’ve said this many times before but i really wish i could see my life 10 years from now. i don’t think i would regret it.

would i be typing out my monthly income/expenditure excel sheet of my cake bakery on my laptop in my cafe while i savour a slice of my cafe’s newest specialty seasame white chocolate cake?

would i be working in a hospital everyday from 8-6pm, sometimes later cos well, its a hospital, and then trudge home to take a well deserved bath? who and what would i return home to.

would i be a recovering drug addict who just decided to turn her back on prostitution? would i be a spy working the undergrounds of the baltics. so many questions. so many possiblities.

this is a goddam meaningless post where i bemoan about feeling unsure bout my life. what a self indulgent bitch.

what happened to the days i used to blog about things i did like a normal blogger, detailing day by day activities like they were oh so interesting.

alright then. here goes. i feel like a baby bird about to plop softly onto the ground following which a forgettable weak cry will go unheard.

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“I CAN??!” yup i just registered for driving lessons couple of weeks back. nerve-wrecking stuff.

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many months ago i got a nose piercing, and removed it. lol

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my attachment’s finally over! it was kinda bittersweet. i enjoyed it but i think i’m never going back. i think i enjoyed celebrating the end of it even more haha.

oh which reminds me i got a haircut! had been having long hair for years. when i was younger i used to cry when my mum made me get my haircut. but now i realise holycrap short hair’s so bloody convenient. its such a worthy investment. you spend less time conditioning and drying your hair every time you bathe. i am saving 20×2 mins per day gosh i’m a genius.

And my family has finally embarked on a kitchen renovation! exciting stuff. knocking’s going on right now as i typitty-type on my keyboard. i can’t wait for it to be all done up and have like a housewarming thing 😀

as for now i’ve a few more weeks of holiday. thinking of going to ubin, cambodia, batam, legoland in the next few weeks. wooohooo.

POSTSECRET

HAHAHHAHA.


it’s good to be quiet

I visited my oldest aunt 2 days ago with family because apparently in the last 2 weeks, she’d become depressed.

We aren’t very close. But to be fair, she doesn’t seem close to anyone. she’d always been somewhat detached, unaffectionate. She’s had several long-standing medical ailments such as diabetes, rheumatoid athritis, etc. I’m not sure whether to attribute this to her illnesses or her natural self but she has this self-depracating aura that just makes everyone around her feel..uncomfortable.

uncomfortable because. we’re supposed to feel pity. or empathy, whatever. but we don’t. instead we’re thinking: oh c’mon. you’re barely 70. stop acting like an old pathetic useless baby. muster up some strength and click the remote by yourself. you don’t need the maid for everything.

and then we gasp. what did we just say to ourselves? oh god what a heartless bitch i am. i’ve no idea what its like. to be old, riddled with illnesses and discontentment. to feel like your body is failing you. you’re so weak and helpless you just want to leave this world so you won’t be such a burden to your family.

and just before that rush of sympathy pours in and we step up to sayang her with care and concern, we realise: she has 5 successful, filial children that all care about her and take care of her (despite her failings as a mother). she has an ex-husband who still loves her deeply. she has siblings that have at several points in time, offered their time and financial help. (despite her failings as an oldest sibling)

she’s had all this family around her yet all she’s done is take take take.

but then, that old argument of her being old and ill comes back, and it goes back and forth, and it leaves us feeling.. uncomfortable. cos we’re trying to draw from these resovoirs of empathy and what not, but they’re just not there. so we just walk away feeling like assholes that rather keep to themselves and not let people know they’re assholes.

that’s why i think there’s merit in not letting the whole world know when you’re upset, angry or ill. when you’re such an open complainer, ppl begin to undermine when you actually need help. for people that often don’t let their emotions or pain show, others become more finetuned to looking out for those slight moments of weakness where they’d know something bad has happened when their tough exterior’s showing some cracks.

isn’t it funny? sometimes when you show less, people understand you better.

instead, when you’re spilling your guts all over other people all the time, you just make people..

uncomfortable.

 

POSTSECRET


50/50

As Ambroise ParĂ© (1510–1590) had expressed it, the physician’s duty was to “cure occasionally, relieve often, console always” (“GuĂ©rir quelquefois, soulager souvent, consoler toujours“).

50/50 Film

blogging is tiring. my pictures are in a mess cos of all the automatically created date folders. trying to recall stuff, also tiring. not just recalling, but selecting the most important part of those events and allowing your mind to refine and finetune it such that it fits a certain framework of the overlying theme in your blog post. exhausting!

but just writing non stop about an awesome movie? easy.

50/50 is about a young guy called Adam who has neurofibroma sarcoma schwannoma. since i actually give a shit about medical jargon:

neurofibroma sarcoma schwannoma is the cancer of the nerve sheath.

neurofibroma: fibrous tumour of nerve cells

sarcoma: a malignant tumour arising from connective tissues (in this case, fibrous tissue and nervous tissue)

schwannoma:  A tumor derived from the cells of the myelin sheath

anyway!

i think its a great show to watch. particularly for those in the medical profession. and hence, really great for me to watch just before my attachment at national heart centre.

not because it demonstrated the loving warmth of medical care, but because it did the exact opposite.

in about every instance, the medical team of doctors, surgeons, nurses and therapists failed to console Adam about his illness.

the doctor gave him the life changing news in complex medical terminology and barely looked him in the eye. the nurse shoved him papers to sign just before he underwent surgery. the anasthesiologist broke up mother and son’s tearful embrace so that he could rush him to the operating theatre. he was told he was safe in the very good hands of a top notch surgical team but only one surgeon made a brief introduction of herself just before the operation. and the therapist was so caught up in profiling adam, telling him what he was going thru like being in denial or feeling angry was clinally normal. she tried to comfort him and build trust by touching him on the arm but it was so unnatural and artificial it made him more uncomfortable.

in the end, yes they treated him. but the process was so lonely and depressing for him. so sad 😩

but on a more hopeful note, its the first day of 2012. for some unexplainable reason, i feel hopeful. even though when i unlocked the last stage of where’s my water game app this morning when i woke up, and i felt disapointed it turned out to just be free swampy wallpaper, i still feel good bout this year.

heheh he’s quite cute hor.


dancingcardiacslut

this post’s just gonna be spilling happy food and awesome buys.

starting my post with an adorable puppy!

made strawberry yoghurt with fresh strawberry sauce

tomato basil soup with garlic bread

best dessert of the month:

chocolate mint ice cream @jack’s place. yummms. better than almond seasasme paste @queen’s dessert or coffee egg pudding @Ah chew dessert along bugis

best buy of the month:

4 belly studs from click6 for freaking $1 each!! (squeals!) eeeeeeeeeeee!

here’re the 2 dangly ones:

pretty!

most extravagant buy:

$34 (half off) G2000 heels. slutty bastards seduced my feet. had to buy them cos they were so damn comfy. compared with disgusting rubi flats bleaghh.

best joke:

poster ad@ wickery ider milk tea. freaking ridiculous

not as ridiculous, but still, AWESOME NAME MAN. i hope ‘minli’ isnt an offensive word in some jamiacan language or sth.

POSTSECRET:

I DID NOT.

btw i desperately need a twitter name. dancingcardiacslut, though an excellen and apt suggestion,  is not very , how to put it gently, elegant?


persuant to the pre-U seminar booklet

harlo everybuddy

i was away for pre-u seminar 2011 at prince george’s park residence, NUS hostel from monday to friday and this was my room. it was kinda funny cos it took me 2 days to realise i’d been stripping all along in my room with the curtains open and the boys’ hostel outside my window.

sigh.

anyway it was pretty boring, but i wont say anything specific (it was the jc kids!) bout why it was boring.

the highlights were…

some nice JC ppl in my SG, my SLO dory!

playing bridge with the guys in the pantry

and the making of the 1 minute vodcast on reimagining singapore which i directed. which was mostly dreary cos my team was damn xian but i’m still proud of the result

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCsI3-TJY9U

meeting boojunfeng, singapore’s cutest film maker.

argh i should just crop myself out man honestly.

my awesome as hell SP team 🙂 every moment with them was pure chilled awesome goodness.

and i wont forget one of the most epic moments

yam ah mee, ladies and gents, chairing the distinguished panel at pre-u seminar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxhkbGC23EM

and the letters i got. they’re too nice man, honestly.

in other news,

i got a new bellystud at bugis street, ignore dust $22. screws from the bottom which is way better cos big balls are easier to find than siao qiu qiu.

and woohoo new makeup Za foundation and skinfood rose essence blusher 🙂 it really smells like roses.

flea buys@ whattheflea! after failed blood donation drive at orchard central.

bestbuy topshop skirt for $3 😀 total spent: $20

grilled honey cod fish with parseley carrots

and some odd doomsday pic i took weeks back

postsecret.

hehe, if only.

 

 


the minli face?

over the years i’ve been getting alot of feedback about this face i do when i observe something silly or lame or kinda funny or childish or ridiculous.

i never really paid attention to it till i realised the sheer number of reviews ive been getting about it. cos all along, i thought i was subtle 😩 kinda, sorta. i dunno.

i guess not. if my friends are able to list down my various expressions.

sigh.

anyway, here’re some pretty peekchas taken a while back.

omelette with grilled basil tomatoes

and some architecture shots for my haha ‘portfolio’

notice the semicircles!

i know, i mildy impressed too.  😀

MUAHHAHAHHAHA.

stop it. behave yourself ah.

postsecret!

i’m like damn busy now.cos i had to rush all my deadlines earlier cos i’ll be away for preusem for the whole of next week and then the blood donation drive and then sparc camp. its a good thing im leaving out australs, or am i.

but its okay cos i dont care im going for a flea tmrw@clarkquay. and then sunday im gonna go on a shopping for makeup spree! wheeee. cos its friday, then you see,tmrw’s saturday. and sunday comes afterwards.


mother’s day 2011?

[does someone have new pretty blogskin?]

my paternal grandmother passed away 10 may 10 years ago. and my family always commemorated her death anniversary on mother’s day. i was never really close to my grandmother ( i thought she was a guy cos she din have hair. hey i was really young and stupid) but i looked forward to every mother’s day cos the family gets together and for the last 2 years, there was channie:)))

but for some strange reason it wasnt commemorated this year and i dont know why.

and so happen i had to write a short journal for my psych class the past week.

Is it appropriate to cry when loved ones die?

My first memory of a funeral was my paternal grandmother’s. I was 9 then. And as much as it pains me to say it, I had a lot of fun. It was probably one of my best childhood memories. The adults were chatting at the void deck, eating peanuts and my cousins and I ran around the neighborhood making bottle tanks, forming a music band and playing simon says. There wasn’t a tinge of sadness in the air, until the time came to cremate my grandmother’s body. Suddenly things got serious quick, and my relatives started weeping and crying out for their loss.it was only then that I started mirroring my relatives and teared a little.

There are several social decorums for everyday life. When someone loses their job, you comfort them. when someone gets promoted/ married/ becomes a parent, you congratulate them. but when someone loses their loved one, you drop everything and you go to their side. We can’t measure an appropriate response to grief, an emotion so poignant, it causes people to act out in different ways. Some people do things life affirming, some people do something impulsive. Some people wear their emotions on their sleeves, others choose to be more stoic. Some choose to laugh and chat with family and friends about good memories, others choose to cry. Andwe should let them do whatever they want to.

but anyway, it was mother’s day last sunday. and all i did was send a text to my mum. i was sick and kinda busy at the time. thinking bout it now, i wasnt even sure if the text went through. i didn’t even check with her or anything. if it didn’t she would have been so upset thinking i didnt care at all. why am i such an ass. why is it that as kids we’re able to block out the feelings of guilt we should be having for the way we treat our mothers?

i guess i’ll get my punishment when my kids treat me like crap. unless i force them to sing and dance for me every mother’s day. nono thats ridiculous. who would become a parent that does that.

 

cos im fly