The Beyoncelogues: If I Were A Boy

You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts


the beautician pandemic

not too long ago, it was hardly considered a profession to do facials, cut hair or trim eyebrows. Customers are now clients. And these aunties who provide beauty treatments are now beauticians, equipped with high tech devices that can zap away hair, close up your pores and remove cellulite. Or at least they claim to do so.

beyond the namesake and the fancy equipment, they’re also downright skilled manipulators out to exploit the fragile self esteem of women and young girls alike.

why do I find them so distasteful? because for a brief period in secondary school I was duped. majorly duped. Here are some things I’ve good amounts of contempt for with regards to persons of this ‘profession’.


number one. they have zero scientific training. they throw out jargon like micro-, derma-, endo-, therma– etc. to make their services sound like they are backed by rigorous testing and expert knowledge; pseudoscience. some of them even wear labcoats to complete this facade.

number two. their prices are insane. all these ‘beauty boutiques/clinics’ have this menu of extremely ridiculously priced services slashed down to still ridiculously priced services. they throw in package here package there and then say that this is a super good deal because it was actually priced that much before. anyone that has stepped into these places will know that these beauticians are completely unabashed with persuading you to buy beauty packages worth thousands of dollars.

number three. they don’t stop selling. during a treatment, they will continue to try to add more to your tab. you bought a facial for $50 and then halfway through it they will say there’s a essence they can add to help you heal better for $20. they claim that if you don’t buy it, your pores can’t close as well and you would have to come back more often, wasting you more money. they have no qualms selling you add-ons during and after treatment after you’ve already reluctantly paid hundreds thinking that was the final cost. bunch of vultures they are.

number four. they put you down to get you to buy their services. even though you’re not say on the verge of having to forfeit your Miss Singapore crown or end your modelling contract because of your horrendous skin/hair/nails/waistline/small neh neh, they make you feel compelled to correct your substandard skin/hair/nails/waistline/neh neh, as if choosing to walk out from committing to the treatments is tantamount to refusing to correct a moral failure that they have been so kind as to point out to you and are willing to help you with. you won’t find such kindness elsewhere! similarly, if you buy their cheaper range of services and refuse their recommanded extras, they make you feel like you’ve made some fatal mistake and are too cheap and foolish to know what’s good for you.





on a completely unrelated side note,

Today I did my 3D Eyebrow Embroidery by the Beauty Boutique at Clementi Central for $398 with additional touch up! Super love it!


having a christian parent

having a parent who has a different spiritual orientation (or any at all) from you can be tough.

you have issues with confluence. you see things differently and you can’t share joy or sadness in the same way. that also means there is a gulf in your relationship not because you don’t love one another, but you aren’t able to justify the successes and tragedies of life in the same way. it can get fairly unnerving when all your christian parent (or friend/ sibling etc) wants is to show their care for you by praying for you, and all you feel is discomfort. Or when they thank God for the littlest things, and all you think is she a lil cray cray.

on the other hand, they have issues with disappointment. they love you deeply and your aversion to receiving God is a continual reminder that you may not be with them in the afterlife. after all, why would they bug you and pray for you so fervently if they did not care about you? they thank the Almighty everyday because they can’t believe their good fortune. you being healthy, alive and free from suffering aren’t naturally occurring things, they are mercifully afforded by the grace of God. It is with great bereavement that they witness your lack of gratitude for the way God has protected you through trying times. Moreover, it is lonely. It is a struggle, perhaps more for them than for you, because at least you, being not of faith, are less dependant on the totalizing conception of why and how we should live our lives, and what it means for those who do not.

For most of us, there are intrinsic virtues of having religous faith that we can’t deny. We don’t necessarily believe there is any right way of living one’s life. and honestly, there are times when you’re trying to draw strength from these resorvoirs of faith, but these banks are contingent on things like material wealth, experiential sucessess and social capital. how could those match up a self assuredness resting on the perfect love of God’s love for His children? there’s a reason why religous people can be the happiest, most violent, most passionate, most sacrificial of the human populace.

being non-religous is almost being a different human being. you subscribe to completely different belief systems. you make sense of the world by actualizing your unique rational or spiritual capacity, both of which are equally human but can sometimes be conflicting abilities. when either capacity dominates, it can be both dangerous and wonderful. when two people who love each other are mentally dominated by different belief systems, they can only hope that there is some overlap on which they can connect on. If you can’t  understand what makes them strong, you will feel utterly useless during their desolate hour of need.


All of Me

My head’s under water
But I’m breathing fine

chill your teets

i just saw this on newnation: a less annoying version of temasek

Photo stolen from here

Again, its filled with the usual comments.”try taking it everyday! esp at 730am in the morning!”, “ask him to experience the breakdown and walking in the dark tunnel!”, “everyday get chauffered around, he will never know what its like!”

YAWN. my nose pores exuding oil is a more fascinating activity than this discussion.

Honest to god, I don’t think its that big a deal. its not like you’re suffering beyond belief. train breakdowns are inconvenient and a hassle, but for god’s sake they are damn infrequent if you think about it in terms of a percentage. a couple of breakdowns over a span of 20 years? its really not that bad. yes its more frequent now but hell, they’re getting better, at least at communicating apologies. they’ve set up forums, they put out instant notices across stations and social media and shuttle buses. give them a break. what incentive do they have to disappoint the haughty Singaporeans.fees are too expensive? subsidies are being rolled out now. give it a moment. stop being so unhappy and vile!

i’m not gonna compare our train services with say, india and say we’re awesome. but even if you compare it with places likes japan and hongkong, its the SAME. its all the SAME. highly dense population and high concentration of traffic. there hasn’t been a solution other than those anyone else can think of: more frequent trips, staggered work timings, incentivise non-peak period travelling. its still not enough and its become a condition rather than a problem.

notwithstanding that its not realistically solvable right now, why would people take train experiences so deeply anyway? Its always been built for speed and utility, not comfort. Mass rapid transit, not comfortRAILleisure. its not comfortable, its not pleasant (when its crowded) and you may have to queue up to get in if you even can. but even in the peakest of peaks, you CAN get on the train within 10 mins tops, you WILL get where you need to be, you just won’t be given a milkshake, a massage and a pillow for the long and laborious day you’ve had (or are about to have). when I’m in packed trains and my cheek is just pressed up against the door panel, I just zone out. i’m not thinking ‘ this sucks this sucks this sucks so much. my face pores are gonna exude oil and then take in other people’s remnant oil and sweat. this sucks this sucks this sucks so much. argh SMRT you guys are the worst. bloody elites dont know what its like to be poor and have to carry the stench of public transport on their bodies as they get along with their day.”, I’m really just thinking, “I’m feeling kinda warm. that guy over there looks cute. why cant he be pressed against me instead of this uncle wearing a hangten shirt. what should I have for dinner? I should finally watch frozen.”

why take the train experience so seriously? perhaps it reflects a deeper discomfort you have with your life. monotonous, cramp, filled with foreigners, exhausting, kinda stinky, hot, boring. maybe its symbolizes everything you hate about singapore. and you can’t help but associate the train experience with all that negativity. i get it, sometimes i feel that way too.when my day is going badly, and im tired and i just wanna go home, the train experience just adds to the gloom cause you’re shoulder to shoulder with all the other unhappy people with cheating wives at home and fucked up bosses at work.

but just be objective about it. its okay to voice displeasure but be sure you’re being realistic about your concerns. be reasonable and not be so eager to drag out flaws into the limelights that can’t be helped. its like dragging an ugly man into the open and asking his mother to fix him. work on his bad penmanship, or his gallivanting ways. not things that are right now, too expensive to change. okay that was a bad example. the point is, the gov and SMRT are gonna work for the majority, you have to work with whats good for you. if you hate the crowds with a vengeance, wake up earlier to avoid the 715-745 crowd. if its a habit youre too lazy to adopt than thats your bloody problem. if you hate the crowds cos youre a dainty lass and you dont want uncles in bossini tees up against you, push the government for a woman only cabin. don’t bitch for the sake of bitching, be specific and constructive. don’t be so boringly unpleasant.

Wish List this Christmas

not that I would ever do something as deplorable as hint for a birthday gift a month and a week away but if  I were capable of such a, said deplorable act. I would ask for:


Front Cover

its at kinokuniya.

Young, but I’m not that Bold