I didn’t want to add to the cacophony. But I feel like I have to. I hope this is helpful to some frantic mother out there riddled with anxiety as I was.
The usual disclaimers: all babies are different, all boobies are different, breast is best, fed is best idk la wtv la. If you care so much you must at least be a half decent parent so your baby’s gonna be just fine regardless of how you choose to parent
My reasons for writing this up:
- I wanna remember what I did! I’ve already forgotten so much. Changes happen so quick and it goes by in a blur. When I ask other mums they can share briefly but often can’t recall the details. When I’m desperate for help, I need detailzzz not rough guidelines
- I somehow managed to maintain my supply even though I go a long stretch at might without expressing/latching. There are a few mums who mentioned they’re still pumping at night even when baby sleeps through the night to maintain their supply. I couldn’t find an alternative testimony online so I’m offering one here.
- Even if no one reads, I’m fascinated by how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learnt. This reminds me of when Ted gave Barney lessons about Robin in How I Met Your Mother. He said that dating someone is like taking a long course on that person. And then after you break up, all that knowledge becomes useless. So it felt nice to put his knowledge to some use again. Similarly, soon enough all this baby sleep and breastfeeding knowledge may become obsolete as Guo En grows up. So here I am, documenting the time in my life I studied and worked so hard for this stupid baby like never before. To think I used to find breastfeeding weird. I did not even know babies had to be ‘put to sleep’.
Perhaps first a detour into the ‘sleep through the night’ thing:
We did sleep training at about 5.5 months. And it was the best thing that we ever did. Prior to that there was no semblance of a night routine. Bedtime could be 930pm, 1030pm, 1100pm. There were some nights he would be cranky presumably cos tired. But most nights he would just be hanging out and pretty calm. Often, even gleeful? So it didn’t seem like he was ‘overtired’. He would then get up at different hours of the night. Sometimes once, sometimes thrice. Sometimes he would go back to sleep. Other times he would yell. Sometimes after milk he would fall back to sleep. Sometimes he’s up for an hour before sleeping again. There was no pattern.
And now.. he sleeps at 8pm everyday. I try to set wake time at 7am but he usually gets up before that. I’ll leave him alone until 7am or when he’s quiet. The first night of sleep training we put him in his crib (for the first time lol) at 8 + pm. He was playing around by himself till 9+. Then he started crying but fell asleep after 15-20mins of crying. WOWZ. He then woke up at 3 or 4am, another 15-20 mins of crying and then fell asleep again. He woke up for the day around 645 or so but wasn’t crying. Usually when he woke up he would cry. Its like within one night he already learnt crib time means me time. He has so much overnight sleep (10.5-11h) now compared to the past. I used to think WTF why my baby sleep at 10-11pm? Then he seems up for the day at 7 or 8. It seems just impossible for him to have anything more than 8-9 hours of overnight sleep.Well, it appears he was just of good temperament even when very overtired…
As for feeding during sleep training. We decided to do a dream feed around 12am of about 50-60ml. He rarely took more than 30ml. We dropped it after 2 weeks since he didn’t seem to need it. I read from somewhere anything less than 60ml is droppable. He used to take up anywhere between 50 to 150ml feedings at night. Going to 30ml or less in one night was simply unimaginable until the morning after.
So yes, sleep training was fairly quick and painful for us. We were very lucky. For maybe 2 weeks he may still cry when being put in the crib and when he woke up. But gradually it would be that he gets put in the crib, and then he would roll around and play by himself before falling asleep. When he wakes up he may make grouchy-just-wake-up cries but no longer the wailing of the past.
Now.. 1.5 months later, the sleep training is going strong. After 8pm I can do my own thing. Shower, watch a show, go out for a while and buy something.
Everything other than sleep training did not help.. feeding frequently throughout the day, time outdoors, wake/eat/sleep, ‘bedtime routine’ of shower then feed. Only learning to sleep on his own in his own sleeping space worked.
From waking and feeding 1-3 times a night, crying when going to sleep and waking, sleeping 8-9 hours overnight –> overnight sleep of 10.5-11 hours with 30ml dream feed after 1 night of sleep training–>no dream feeds after 2 weeks. Like I said, I never imagined it possible until the morning after.
Okay now the breastfeeding part of things
Several books and articles mentioned that your breasts will ‘adjust’ to producing less in the night and more in the day. One book mentioned that at the start, you should pump after each feed in the day time. This will send a message to increase supply in the day. I did that for a while but found it too much of a hassle in the chaos of newborn life. In the night, I would pump at 12am and 4am to keep to a 4-hour cycle. Each pump I might get about 200ml. At week 10 I dropped the 4am pump. At maybe week 15 just before going to work I dropped the 12am pump. So I would do a final pump before bedtime around 10pm and latch whenever he woke up after 5am or so. Basically I was stretching the times from 4 hours to 6 hours to 8 hours.
Now that he sleeps 8-7am, my routine looks like this:
7am latch
latch throughout the day typically in 2.5-3.5 hour intervals. After each nap and just before the next nap.
730pm final latch
8pm bedtime
930pm pump out everything (ranges from 60ml -180ml)
630am pump out 160ml
and repeat
So I’m going about a 9 hour stretch everyday. My 930pm pump ensures that I will always have enough milk for his 730pm latch. My 630am pump before latch is a little unorthodox. I think most people pump after latch. But after 9 hours I’m so full I’m not worried that its not enough. But I realised that the morning milk is very watery. So I pump out the watery milk so he gets the thicker milk.
So just like this I’ve been maintaining my supply even after he sleeps through the night. On top of his needs, I pump out 200-300ml out for storage on daily basis. Its getting too much for my poor freezer so I’ve been donating. I mix the watery 630am morning milk and the thick 930pm night milk into one milk storage bag.
Okay baby whining and not appreciating the Ariana Grande music we have up in here. Got to go.
trace the moment 